Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Can't ...

For years I have felt that whatever went wrong was my fault, even if I couldn't control the issue. Many times I'd say 'sorry' for situations I was never at fault. I feel so much that I can't do anything right. I don't say the right thing, I don't dress the right way, I don't speak the right way, I don't live the right way... I just feel like the failure. 


No matter how caring I am or thoughtful or careful I am of others... I always fight the guilty feelings. My grandfather once told me I say sorry too much. And I do...


I just wonder if I'll ever get over the feeling because clearly others don't think of my feelings that highly and obiviously they don't mind telling me I didn't do something right... 


I try different methods to cope, pull back or just accept that I had no control but I still fight the feeling of failing. Maybe one day I'll be able to accept that I won't always say the perfect thing or do something the right way or that things just happen without fault...maybe...


                     Cheers, Nelly


 


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2 comments:

  1. BarrieJanuary 14, 2014 at 6:05 PM

    It takes a certain awareness to let those feelings go, says my therapist. I'm certainly not to that point and I get how you feel. Just remember it can always be worse and this too shall pass.

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  2. UnknownJanuary 20, 2014 at 2:03 PM

    All you can do is be the best of who you are! You can't apologize for being you no matter the circumstance! When it's truly your fault than you own up to it but you can't apologize for being you...and that you is an amazing woman who is beautiful, smart, talented, driven, charming, funny with the world at her fingertips! Say what's on your mind...maybe that person needs to hear it even if it's hard to hear.

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